


Knock

by 37h4n0l



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Healing, Negative Thoughts, Post-Canon, Recovery, and highkey guilty, everything i touch turns into slight angst, it's the soniamaeda friendship, side komahina, the fuck is this me writing fluff, the latter doesn't need to be said bc it's canon, they're in the ff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 15:29:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13767081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/37h4n0l/pseuds/37h4n0l
Summary: Slice of life centered around Nagito and Sonia's possible friendship and recovery from feelings of guilt.





	Knock

**Author's Note:**

> Me @ myself: istg you bitch if you mention Komaeda's FTD.......  
> *does it anyway*  
> I'm sorry, I still have no idea what fluff or a healthily expressed positive emotion is so you can't expect much from me when writing about those things.

Nagito knew he just had to wait for things to go away sometimes.

 

He found it a little silly that he thought about it right in that moment, as he waited for the cars to race along the street like a herd in front of the traffic light because it almost looked like a cheesy metaphor picked directly from a third-rate novel. It bothered him that it diminished the seriousness of that musing within him for a moment. He wished he wouldn’t overthink issues like that, too, in the same way as the other people waiting were more preoccupied with mundane tasks; the little girl nagging her mother about going to the movies or the woman in the suit quickly tapping up a text. They didn’t look Nagito’s way, maybe they would have recognized him if they did. It happened often during those times, they’ve all been on air frequently as Future Foundation members. It even stopped him from being as anxious about it as he used to be, but people chatting him up on the street wasn’t something he’d gotten used to yet.

 

The light turned green, finally allowing him to take a step on the crosswalk. He looked left, right, left again, then repeated just to make sure. A car could have suddenly malfunctioned, rushed in there and hit everyone but him. A building could have collapsed. A meteorite could have fallen right in that spot- He gave a few light knocks to his own forehead as if that would stop the apocalyptic scenarios from playing out in his mind. 

 

He was directed towards a cafe right on the other side, some excessively cutesy-looking place. The food was probably excessively sugary, too. The waitresses had excessively pink uniforms. It was, well, a bit too  _ excessive _ for his tastes; ultimately, though, he didn’t mind if the other person insisted on it. Nagito had never had any particular preference in places to go to, he’d rather adjust himself to what whoever he was with wanted to do, within the limits of their personal safety being put at risk by the… inconveniences he brought about. Besides, anyone wanting to meet up with him like that wasn’t usual - there had been a time in his life when that would have warranted outright celebration. 

 

It was hard not to notice her; not that she put on a show or anything, she wasn’t doing anything that should have attracted attention, but she stood out nonetheless. It was probably that inexplicable aura around her wherever she went, something sophisticated and refined emanating from her that was clear to everyone but her. It was even clearer to Nagito who suspected having something similar, except for him it  _ had to _ be something weird or intimidating or abnormal or just  _ bad _ in some elaboration of the term, that’s why he bothered everyone so much… He just got reminded he’d been told to try and shut out the intrusive thoughts when they were interrupted precisely by the person he’d been observing. Before she had been sitting alone at an outside table for two, concentrated on reading the menu with her legs crossed elegantly, but he seemed to have noticed Nagito’s presence a moment later.

 

“Good afternoon! I was starting to think you wouldn’t show up.”

 

“That would be rude of me, wouldn’t it, Miss Sonia…” He mumbled, ending the phrase with a nervous chuckle as he sat down on the other chair.

 

“You still address me like that even though we’re friends… I told you it’s just ‘Sonia’.” She looked slightly annoyed, although not in an entirely serious way. The menu in her hand was lowered and put on the table, displaying its contents which mainly consisted in milkshakes and cakes.

 

“I see you dressed up for the occasion” Nagito commented, switching subjects.

 

Sonia glanced down at her own - referenced - outfit, a knee-length dress with frills and ribbons that matched the cafe’s atmosphere perfectly in some mysterious way. The bow in her hair, her socks and her shoes had been arranged accordingly as well, it made one wonder if she had a stylist or doing all of that by herself was part of her talent.

 

“Ah yes, I picked these out on purpose. I’m trying to fit in with the settings of Japanese culture as much as possible, living here has been incredibly fascinating for me!” A little fervor transpired from her voice like it usually did during the times when her personal passions got the better over her contained attitude.

 

“I suppose I look quite shabby in comparison, maybe I should have put on something better as well, I’m such a failure...” the other said more to himself than to Sonia, remembering the fact that he chose to wear sneakers, pants and a light t-shirt; their workplace required formal clothing and he had gotten too tired of suits to have them on in his free time as well.

 

“Hey!” The girl before him snapped him out of the spiral of negative thoughts. “You should not call yourself a failure. Besides, you look fine, so stop worrying and order something!”

 

The thought had probably occurred to her because there was a waitress directed towards their table, smiling at them cheerfully. She was probably doing it because it was their formal way of receiving guests in cafes, or it was inspired by Sonia’s presence… Surely, if it had been only Nagito, she wouldn’t have been so nice… Another knock on the forehead. He had to stop. Instead, he quickly ran his eyes through the menu, realizing he still didn’t want anything specific so the best would have been to go with the same things he had in these places usually. He could have gotten a strawberry milkshake, for instance. For the billionth time, sure, but it was an  _ okay-ish _ thing to drink.

 

Suddenly, as the waitress had almost gotten to where the two of them were sitting (Sonia was still trying to choose, apparently) a doubt overcame Nagito and he reached down at his own pocket. His fears solidified in a tangible fact, a rush of panic running through his body.

 

“Ah, it seems… I’ve lost my wallet…” An ordinary person would have asked themselves how that could even happen considering it had been  _ attached to a chain _ , but Ultimate Luck made everything possible. 

 

“Shit!” Sonia cursed under her breath in a way that was still a bit bewildering for her. “Don’t worry for now, I will take it upon myself to treat you.”

 

They were cut short by the waitress.

 

“Hello and welcome!” She chirped. “Congratulations, you are our ten thousandth clients, please accept an item of your choice for both of you as our gift!”

 

The Ultimate Princess ordered a chocolate cake while the other tensely laughed a little to himself, the events reminding him of the luck cycle and consequently of when the next bad event was going to happen.

 

“I’ll have a strawberry milkshake… With little sugar if possible” he added, and the girl appeared to have noted it down. 

 

Before she left to pass down the requests, she remained frozen for a second as she glared at Sonia, an expression of surprise washing over her face.

 

“Miss Nevermind?”

 

Then began the scene Nagito had seen so many times play out before; the two of them smiled, exchanged greetings, shook hands, the waitress complimented her and asked for an autograph - so much naturality and ease in an interaction, and it looked like it was even enjoyable to them. Well, obviously, it wouldn’t be hard for Sonia, not with her position. It wasn’t only her, though, but all his other classmates, accepting their roles as celebrities - or sometimes controversial figures - with simplicity and positivity. He doubted he would ever get there, and that made him feel excruciatingly out of place, like he was the only one filled with so much sorrow and negative feelings. He wanted to talk to Hajime about this sometimes, but it felt like it ruined the atmosphere on each occasion. It would have ruined it now, too, so he kept quiet and contemplative.

 

Sonia noticed, obviously. Like she always did. And when the waitress left, she turned towards Nagito with furrowed brows, hinting at the fact that  _ she was actually worried for him _ , something that was also incomprehensible, because  _ why was she, when it was about someone so lowly, so undeserving, so terrible _ \- Knock.

 

“Nagito, is everything fine?”

 

“It’s not important” he smiled.

 

“ _ Bullshit _ it’s not, for a moment you looked like as if you were attending a funeral.”

 

“Well, it’s something stupid, so it’d be a waste of time to mention it.”

 

She stood up dramatically at that, pointing a finger at the other’s shocked face.

 

“Then I  _ order you _ to tell me if something is troubling you so I can try to help!”

 

He went into a bit of a momentary shock because it was actually really hard to defy Sonia’s words - they had a certain charm to them that would make people follow. He knew he should have stopped looking up to talent in an exaggerated way (another advice he’d been given) but he couldn’t help but feel fascinated. She sat down apologetically, likely regretful about going overboard.

 

“I was just thinking,” Nagito spoke before she could, “everyone… The rest of you guys have such an easy time talking to strangers like that. It’s kind of admirable.”

 

“There is nothing to be afraid of, even if someone decides to be ill-behaved you can just tell them off. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

 

He wheezed slightly in response, going a little stiff from the endless flood of terrible things that came to mind as he ran both his sweaty hands through his hair which had gotten a little too long lately.

 

“Yes, all of you can be sure of that… That nothing bad will happen… It’s not the case for me…”

 

“Nagito…”

 

“The waitress from before; she recognized you, right? That means she must have realized who I was as well, surely, with the way I look. But she didn’t say anything. You know why? Because associating with me, in and of itself, is already…”

 

“Nagito!” Sonia said with more emphasis while he also realized she had been clutching one of his wrists to keep him from tearing at his own hair. “Stop always thinking there’s something wrong with you, you are not doing anything bad!”

 

“I  _ have _ , in the past.”

 

That sentence made both of them grow silent - heavily so. It was hard to find words to comment on  _ that _ . It had always been hard, ever since they came back from Jabberwock Island and way too many things happened in too little time, at least not enough for them to comprehend everything. Especially him, having woken up for last, didn’t have any time to reflect on the memories he had regained back then, new conflicts already arising. Nagito  _ had _ thought about it, though, especially after the events had quieted down and they were all admitted to the Future Foundation - he had thought and thought and  _ thought _ so much he risked going mad for real, even if Hajime was there with him he kept  _ thinking _ , and for the first time it made him wish his brain would continue deteriorating until he couldn’t even do that anymore. He remembered voicing that to Hajime too and being told not to joke around with it because, expectedly, his significant other didn’t want to see him in pain. 

 

All of that was a little bit pointless to ruminate on, he figured as their food arrived, but it’s not like one can keep considerations like that away so easily.

 

“Ah, I…” He quickly brought his hands over his mouth as if realizing a huge mistake. “I completely wrecked the mood, haven’t I? I’m sorry…”

 

Sonia, in the meanwhile, had been fiddling with one of the ribbons in deep thought. It wasn’t like she could shake off the guilt either; none of them really did, they were just - except for Nagito - good at ignoring it in their everyday lives. 

 

“I will tell you what I think and you are free to disagree, but…” She hesitated. It was so odd hearing her speak so meekly, Nagito had to blink twice. Then, she continued the phrase with her usual confidence, albeit plagued by a bitter undertone.

 

“No matter how much wrong has happened… No matter how much wrong  _ we did _ , we cannot do anything but face forward. If not for anything else, then for the sake of redeeming ourselves. Don’t you think that helps more than simply feeling bad about it?”

 

He looked off into the distance absentmindedly, gaining a bit of calm that simply left him sad for a moment. The whipped cream on top of his milkshake was slowly collapsing into the liquid; it would have sweetened it too much if he waited any longer, but he didn’t feel like drinking it. The location they were at was close to the city centre so people came and went continuously. Busy, ordinary people, the ones who survived the chaos  _ they _ had contributed to creating. Nagito had to admit it to himself; not only did he hope they wouldn’t recognize him, he was  _ dead afraid _ that they would. 

 

“Sonia…” He said then, quietly. “You know, people have stopped me on the street to call me names before. You say I should tell them off, but I don’t think they’re in the wrong. I don’t know what kind of dignity I’m supposed to have, not after this.”

 

“You do not live for those people” she interjected in his monologue. The other turned back to her. “You live for yourself. If you really want to change, then you will be able to! And if nobody believes in you, just keep doing it until they will!”

 

Sonia paused as Nagito glared on, neither convinced nor unconvinced. 

 

“I have wronged the world, but also a country that was entrusted to me… That’s why I think I need to employ even more strength in rebuilding it. That’s what  _ hope _ is about, is it not?” She looked at him as if he was some sort of expert on the subject - and to a certain extent he was, although that concept had mingled together with too many things after life experiences like that.

 

“Then I’ll just wait,” he sighed in the end, finally grabbing the straw with his teeth and taking a quick sip, “I’ll wait for it to go away. The overthinking, I mean.”

 

“Yes,” Sonia nodded in response, “that’s the best you can do sometimes.”

 

They ate in silence. Not necessarily because of the tension in the air this time, but because the Ultimate Princess didn’t speak with her mouth full and Nagito wasn’t talkative by nature. Suddenly, there was a light wave of warm wind moving the tangles of his hair into his face and his t-shirt a bit up his back while Sonia’s well-kempt locks flew a little behind her as she took another bite of the cake, unbothered. 

 

“How is everything with Hajime, if you don’t mind me asking?” She inquired when she was roughly halfway through the sweet. “Sometimes I’m concerned about him too.”

 

“He’s doing fine” Nagito replied, relaxed.  _ Hajime _ ; thinking about him and the fact that they were both safe, living together, put him instantly at ease somehow. “They say he can recover fully from the trauma; well, unlike  _ me _ ,” Sonia was just about to say something, but they were both interrupted by the buzzing of a cell phone.

 

“Ahaha, it seems like I haven’t lost this one at least” he commented to himself, unlocking the screen with swift combination only to reveal a notification of a new email; he caught a glimpse at the subject and sender. “Talk of the devil…”

 

The girl observed his face respectfully as she cut off small pieces of the cake one by one. With a bit of worry, too, because Nagito suddenly went pale and almost fell off the chair from how much his head was spinning, the panic he had worked so hard to placate rising in him again.

 

“Sonia, you need to…” He blabbered, gripping the table’s edge without looking her in the eyes.

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

“You need to leave immediately, otherwise it will… Something bad is going to…”

 

“Are you feeling sick? Should I call an ambulance?” She hopped up reaching towards the other who was still bent down and trembling.

 

“That’s not it,” he said, forehead shining from sweat, “that’s exactly the point, that you shouldn’t.”

 

“I implore you, tell me what happened!” Her voice had gotten so panicky that Nagito suddenly felt like she was worrying even more than he, himself.

 

“It looks like… It’s been halted.”

 

It took a little for Sonia to piece together what he meant, but she realized eventually.

 

“So, of course, something absolutely terrible will happen now. I don’t want you to get affected.”

 

And, in the spur of the moment, they were too concentrated on the news to pay any attention to their surroundings - the Ultimate Princess, too, wasn’t aware of the fact that she’d been standing in the middle of the crowd’s flux on the sidewalk as she was intent on helping her ex-classmate. That’s why it took one particularly incautious businessman passing by to knock her over, right in the direction of the table, more precisely in the direction of the half-eaten slice of chocolate cake on it. Nagito, too, gasped a little as he got distracted from everything before. It was probably the most undignified thing he had ever seen Sonia do besides swearing. Being sprawled across a cafe table face down with chocolate cream and cake pieces scattered everywhere, that is. It was, in all effects, an explosion - some of it had gotten on him as well. 

 

“Ah, this is…” He didn’t even know where to look first, let alone commentate. 

 

“See?” Sonia said, voice muffled as she hadn’t even lifted her head. “It happened. You may stop worrying about me now.”

 

It took a few minutes for them to get themselves together and gather up as much  _ food _ from her clothing as possible, but the dress seemed like a lost cause no matter how they looked at it. The entire middle section had been stained; despite which its owner remained perfectly collected and even smiled during their attempt at cleaning up, shrugging it off as nothing but a silly event. Later, after apologizing thoroughly (Sonia had tried to offer money for the tablecloth and got refused), they walked away in the central plaza’s direction.

 

“Are you sure you shouldn’t get changed?”

 

“Oh, I don’t care that much.” Somehow, she looked even more cheery with her outfit ruined - it had to be her aura, he was sure by now. “We should definitely celebrate since we’re already here, this is… This is grand, Nagito!”

 

_ Grand _ \- a word in her style of speaking she had used intentionally that didn’t convey the excitement coming through from all her other gestures.

 

“Wasn’t the dress expensive?”

 

“Well, I’m waiting for the mishap to go away! Like you said before!”

 

“But the stain… isn’t going to…”

 

Knock.

 

Nagito brushed his forehead slightly, a bit surprised that someone had repeated that gesture and that it wasn’t him. He stood still for a while, pondering on whether he should really put aside his worries for now - whether it was careless of him, whether it was selfish. And because Sonia was walking away and waving for him to come along, intently directed towards the variety of shops aligned on the plaza, his conclusion was that it was better to just  _ stop thinking _ . He had plenty of lifetime left for that anyway.


End file.
